Holy Spirit has shown me what the gifts are in the experiences of the traumas of my past.

Hello world. The following was written 4/26/2015.

In the act of being raped I am given a choice. I can see it as a trauma that will destroy me or as a call for the love they cannot find within themselves. It is a choice that I make. In choosing love I am then able to see it as a gift instead of something that hurts me.

My molesters and rapists were repeating a pattern they learned from someone else. They were actively choosing to repeat that pattern. It is a choice. The picture here is that in everything we have a choice. Holy Spirit showed me that my perceptions were there because I was told this is how it is as a child. Holy Spirit showed me the lie in that. I would not be who I am without having been through the things I have. My understanding and perceptions would not be nearly the same.

The beatings I received as a child were not really directed at me. They were enacting their rage out on me for what they believed and thought they had failed to do. They were judging me in their mind as being less than whole and perfect. They were angry at themselves for their own failures in their minds and their judgments of what they believed I was or was not. It was all internal conflict being projected out and expressed as best they could.

Holy Spirit has shown me what the gifts are in the experiences of the traumas of my past. I have joy and peace in my heart now where once there was none…