Holy Spirit will lead me home from within.

In the first year of trying to do the Course with the teacher that had been chosen I had a lot of conflicts arise within me. One of the first ones were grudges and another was that I had asked for everything I was going through throughout my life. That the rapes, molestation’s, beatings, mental and emotional abuses I experienced I asked for. I really had a hard time with these. How could I as a child or infant ask for the things that were done to me?

As I was doing the workbook lessons and looking at the thoughts in my mind Holy Spirit gifted me with a waking vision. It was to be the first of many. I was holding a grudge against my Husband’s buddy. In the vision Holy Spirit showed my Husband’s buddy and I sitting at my kitchen table. Holy Spirit had me tell him what I was holding onto. I was holding onto him trying to get my husband to cheat on me. On him guilting and shaming my Husband to do whatever he wanted him to do with manipulations such as, “Oh I need money, buy this from me so I am not really borrowing. Dude, I can hook you up with some fine ladies…What the wife don’t know… Come do a craigslist ad with me… I will hook you up.” Yeah, I was seeing him as trying his best to destroy my marriage and my relationship with my Husband. This on top of what I was already going through with my motorcycle accidents and everything else…

That day Holy Spirit gifted me with the vision of being able to tell these things to my Husband’s friend at my kitchen table. To tell him I no longer wanted to hold onto these things…