Nightmares and dark energy are draining my will to Hold the Light.

Hello world. The following was written 09/15/2018.

Last night I found myself experiencing a strange heavy energy. Around 10 o’clock I found myself experiencing what felt like a blanket being laid over me. I felt this heaviness and pressure pushing down on me from all sides. It literally drained me of energy and had me going to bed feeling as if I was about to pass out.

Around 12:45 AM my Husband Alex came into the room to check on me. I was crying out loud in my sleep. My Husband has learned to approach me cautiously when I am sleeping. He does not say my name any more nor does he touch me anywhere but my hand or my upper arm. He learned years ago that to touch me or to say my name results in my leaping from bed and trying to run away while half asleep. This instinctual reaction of flight was learned as a child when I would be visited by my abusers in the middle of the night.

Last night I found myself in a dream that was dark and very emotionally stressful. It started with me in a parking garage being herded down a hallway and up some stairs into what felt like the lobby of a hotel with a handful of others. We were rushed across this area and up another flight of stairs behind what looked to be a man dressed in women’s clothes. He was wearing pink silk pajama shorts with white fur trim and a pink matching silk tank top also with white fur trim.

Upon reaching the top of those stairs we entered a darkened area that was…