The Burden of the belief in Obligation…

Hello world. The following was written 12/17/2016.

I have been looking at a belief I had held that felt as if I had a yolk about my throat harnessing me to the heaviest of burdens that was choking me slowly to death. The burden of the belief in obligation.

I held a belief that I was obligated to financially support my extended families. Such as my in-laws and my own parents, Uncles, Aunts, cousins, and siblings. That I was obligated to accept their judgments and opinions of my Husband and I. That I was obligated to give in to their dictates even when it did not resonate within my own heart. That to keep the peace I had to bite my tongue and accept their recriminations of me and my Husband silently.

For a very long time I found myself faced with the spoken and unspoken judgments of my family. Their judgments would envelope me in layer upon layer of dark emotional energy until I felt like I was suffocating. In every instant they were wanting me to pick and choose between them and my Husband and the same was happening with his family. None of them were willing to accept our choices of a life mate. None of them were willing to let go their judgments and just love us as we are.

This past Thanksgiving for the first time in 18 years my Mother In-Law and her Husband had finally accepted me as I am. It was such a change from every previous experience that my heart was singing as we left to come home.