What I am given is a gift from God.

Hello world. The following was written 12/24/2016.

I am being shown a deeper understanding to this thing with my family and the choosing of them over my Husband Alex. My Guides are telling me it was a choice between choosing what was over what is. The choice of living in the past with the beliefs that were held by them and their dictates and the choice of living in the here and now with my choices and the family of my choosing.

The differences I am being shown are these… My family is unwilling to accept me as I am or to accept my choice in life mate. Unless I conform to their dictates and do as they want I am to be cut off in all ways. They are using their love, affection, and attention as tools to control and manipulate me to their will. They are using them as a punishment.

If I were to give in and do as they ask…. They would start with recriminations that I should have listened to them in the first place. Then would come the gushing love and attention oh so briefly. Followed by the cold shoulders and indifference’s until they want something from me. Until then I am to be seen and not heard and I am to do whatever they tell me to do. I am to feel grateful for the tiniest bit of kindness they would deem to give me. All because in their eyes I am not and will never be good enough to deserve their unconditional love and affections. In their minds I was never good enough. I was the mistake they could not keep from happening…